The wife of the General Overseer of the Living Faith Church Worldwide (Dr. David Oyedepo), Faith Abiola Oyedepo explains to us what real intimacy in marriage really means, here is what she wrote…
I bring God’s Word your way today. I see God doing something new in your home and family in Jesus’ name. I will be sharing with you a topic which I titled: Attaining Intimacy in marriage.
It is very important that we know that marriage is the mystery of two people becoming one. Intimacy is the pillar of every successful marriage and it is the responsibility of both parties. When we talk about intimacy, the husband and wife should be the most intimate persons and best of friends.
What is intimacy?
Intimacy is the closeness of your relationship with your spouse – emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, Se-xually, and in many other ways. Intimacy is not an end but rather a journey that lasts throughout your marriage. Intimacy means a warm, close, confidential or private relationship, which develops through long association, friendship and familiarity.
UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS FOR INTIMACY
Spiritual Needs
You must understand your likes and needs spiritually as husband and wife and help each other to attain it. For example, if your husband likes waking up in the middle of the night to read or study, you can be of help to him by alerting him when it is time to wake up:You, too, can also do likewise and make him a cup of hot tea. You can encourage him to do some spiritual exercise that he needs.
Emotional Needs
For intimacy to be developed in a marriage, you must understand your husband’s emotions. When he is depressed, try to find out what is happening and encourage him. You must not allow an “uncaring attitude” to creep into your home.
Psychological Needs
You must also understand some masculine peculiarities like desire for:
-Profound respect
-Admiration
These are two basic things, which every man craves from his wife.
PHYSICAL NEEDS: – Intimacy can be developed if you understand what your husband’s physical needs are and meet them.
You should satisfy his physical needs by
Giving your husband the type of food he likes, and not the one you like. Even, if you do not like a particular type of food before, you could try to adjust simply because of him.
Always wear the colour or type/style of dress he likes, not the one you want to wear. If he does not like a particular dress, it is not advisable to keep wearing such.
Adopt hairdos or styles that he likes, not what you like.
Be available to him when he wants to make love to you.
Do everything to please him. This will aid in developing intimacy because he will trust and have interest in you.
Companionship
Every man is created to crave constant fellowship. It is one of the major motivating factors that draw two people of the opposite Se-x together. After creation, the only thing that God called “Not good” was the fact that man was alone. Loneliness has been discovered to be one of the causes of mental retardation and erratic behaviours in many people, who are in that condition.
True companionship is what makes marriage meaningful. Spouses are not meant to be roommates but the closest of friends. The Word of God says: Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend (Proverbs 27:17).
It is unfortunate that many couples are missing out of this wonderful aspect of marriage. They live under the same roof, yet they are more or less strangers. Such marriages are empty and with time, their frustration leads to divorce. This is not the will of God. He expects you to have sweet communion not only with Him, but also with your partner.
The first step to take to enjoy intimacy in your marriage is to have an intimate relationship with your Creator; that is, be born again. You become born again by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus Christ as the Lord and Saviour of your life and family. If you are already born again, rejoice because your case is settled. If you are not yet born again and you desire to do so right now, please pray this prayer with faith in your heart: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).