S*x has been described as one of the activities that boost closeness in marriage, but the lack of it, or its inadequacy, can equally be detrimental to the success of the union.
This all-important activity is so vital that marriage counselors and psychologists often advise couples not to joke with it, for the sake of keeping the home together, even if they have to prepare a timetable for it, so that the needs of both parties can be well taken care of.
Meanwhile, s*x is only good when the two persons enjoyed the act
and reached climax (eja-culation for men and or-gasm for women), but findings have shown that in most cases, men reach orgasm in about 95 percent of their s*xual activities while about 25 percent of women reach orgasm in their s*xual encounters.
Mrs. Motun (surname withheld) is one of such women who could count how many times she has reached orgasm on her fingers; even with that, she won’t go far on the first five fingers.
“And you know the irony there, my husband and I have s*x at least thrice a week, but he’s the only one who enjoys it,” she said.
She continued, “Perhaps there is something wrong somewhere. It has almost become a norm and it is an issue you can’t talk to anyone about, so as not to be labelled as being wild. After some minutes, my husband ejaculates and that is the end. And the most annoying part is that he sleeps off shortly after. It can be so annoying.
“Initially, I thought it was normal, but while interacting with people, I found that a woman can also reach or-gasm. Maybe because I didn’t have experience about s*x before I married, so I didn’t know much about it. The situation has made me to lose interest in s*x because he puts me in the mood and leaves shortly after.”
Out of frustration of being left hanging after every s*xual activity, Motun confronted her husband on the need to satisfy her as well, but was shocked when her husband told her “I’m trying my best.”
Mosun, a mother of one, is one out of many women who rarely reach or-gasm, as evidenced by the responses of women who spoke on the subject. It wasn’t an issue many of them were willing to talk about, because it is wrong for a married woman to discuss her and her husband’s bedroom activities in public, but the few who spoke expressed their frustration and the fact that they are helpless.
Even though reaching climax has no impact on women’s ability to conceive, it has a lot of impact on how much they enjoy s*x.
It is therefore helpful to decipher why many women don’t reach orgasm.
Here is the reason:
Men are able to reach orgasm quickly because the nerves that trigger that intense pleasure are located in the glans (the rounded part forming the head of the pe.nis), thus, its stimulation, usually through rubbing the vagi-nal walls during inter-course, helps them to eja-culate a bit faster.
But for women, those nerves that should drive them to reach or-gasm are not really in the va-gina where they can be stimulated during s*x; they are located in the cli-toris, which is located at the anterior end of the vul-va, or say towards the north (upper) part of the va-ginal opening.
Due to location, the cli-toris, which is female’s most sensitive zone, is usually not directly stimulated by the pe-nis during inter-course. Thus, a large number of women are not able to climax, even if the s*xual act lasts for a longer time.
According to studies, s*xual activity is usually between 1 and 13 minutes, and understandably, some men could take longer before they eja-culate, but regardless of the length of time, some women may still not reach or-gasm.
Therefore, some women who are unable to reach or-gasm get to that destination when their cli-toris is stimulated by mere hand, simply because that is where the nerves are.
According to a consultant endocrinologist, Dr. Olamoyegun Michael, the primary reason women don’t reach or-gasm through penetrative s*x easily is the inadequate stimulation of the cli-toris by the male organ during s*x.
He said some women actually do reach or-gasm but that a significant percentage of women don’t.
He added, “However, some women can reach or-gasm through pene-tration, depending on the experience of both of them, how roomy the woman is, how big the man is, the technique and some other factors. So, it is not hidden that cli-toris can affect their ability to reach orgasm or its frequency.
“That is why in the olden days, when women were circumcised, which is the removal of the cli-toris, the belief was that those who were not circumcised could be promiscuous, and that goes to show that the cli-toris is very sensitive and is important in female s*xual satisfaction.”
