Here’s another chilling Rap£ story, and it is being told by an orphan who accused a Pastor of Raping her for 3 years and also calling her a demon.
According to the Orphan, her Rap£ ordeal started when she was 13 till she was 16, and the Pastor always did this when his wife was out on a night shift. Though the Pastor and wife later committed the suicide, the South African Orphan disclosed that she is yet to find redemption, as she has suffered bouts of depression.
Read what the South African orphan wrote below;
‘MY RAPIST TOOK A PART OF ME WHEN HE Rap£D ME One day I am going to tell a story abt my life as an orphan,Rap£d from the age of 13 until 16,almost every night when his wife was working night shift .when i spoke out I was told he buys me food so I should shut up
One day I am going to talk about loved ones protecting a rapists & blaming the victim,I am going to talk abt how this man was a pastor … He took my virginity,my life, my power and I couldn’t fight back bcoz I was alone & no parents …One day I am going to talk abt how my Rapist was a pastor who forced me to pray & ask for forgiveness to God because me,a 13 year old made him commit a sin…
One day day I am going to talk abt how my I couldnt cry anymore,I was so dry …How I survived all this abuse… I created a lil world inside my head .I cried noone heard my cries,I spoke out one believed me,I prayed & still God didn’t answer…
It happened so many times that I remember almost all of them,He treated me like his Bleep doll fetish.I was never a normal child ,I screamed for help but no one was reading the signs…When i was 15 I was starting to show signs of depression,Teachers asked if I was okay.I told them I was because I was scared … My marks dropped because it got intense… His friends were invited to explore my body & he said to them this is where i distress…
Few last months in grade 11 I spoke out but no one believed me in church,infact i was called a demon for accusing their pastor,I was banned from Church… I stopped praying then and believed in fate …He punished me for telling the church.He told the church he will pray for me because clearly my demons were strong…That time my life changed & did not care .I stopped contacts with aunts,uncles,sisters .
One day I am going to talk about how my Matric year was the worst? I died a long time ago,I didn’t see the need for a Matric certificate,My consumer teacher knew I loved cooking (Still do).She forced me to open up she will help me…One dayI am going to tell you about opening up to her,I told her everything I felt like chains that were holding me are starting to loosen up… It was too late because I was 6 months pregnant, that threw me off …
One day I am going to tell you about the victim shaming I got, called names like she is carrying a bastards child,I was booked for an abortion & it was the most painful thing ever.Ppl said keep that child,I couldn’t bcoz I decided if the child lives i die…One day I am going to tell you about all the pain I suffered at the hands on that man ,his friends and the wife… Usually in matric u had to give it your all but me on the other side I was lost & I couldn’t take everything all at once…
Teachers helped me with case but the bastard couldn’t live to take his punishment,he committed suicide … I died along the way even now re visiting that place brings tears to my eyes…One day I am going to tell me about how when he died , everybody went back to their normal lives & said to me he is dead now,theres nothing u can do move on.My scars and wounds were not taken into consideration…I was so young & the lady who was assigned to me for counseling kept on pilling me with sleeping pills… The trauma I suffered ,I had to bury it & move on…
I had to find a way to survive,I did it through $ex,I only knew how to exist when i was wanted… I accepted things I did not deserve so I can keep myself busy…After everything that happened & everyone going back to their lives After matric i had to find way to mask my pain… I dated older men with money,got a job to keep myself busy ,I took sleeping pills so I dont have nightmares,I drank everydays,smoked weed
I didn’t know how to deal with pain,Giving myself to men was a me seeking a sense of belonging even if it was for 2 seconds… I didn’t want to go to school bcoz I told myself dirty girls like me dont need degrees its not worth it…Continued with the cycle until 2016, I tried to fight & get myself together but it wasn’t working,I had to dig deeper & get to the core,But I didn’t,I pretended to be dealing with my trauma,I lied to my friends but I didn’t knowI was lying to myself…
It haunted me to this day,I was forced to deal with my past,i had to relive and revisit that place that is full of hurt,betrayal,lies … I dont trust men and I blocked myself from allowing myself to heal..Broken & lost … 2018 I received a call that the wife committed suicide but she left a letter for me … That letter had everything I wanted years ago,I wanted someone to say we believe u.That letter had confession that I needed soi can be saved…
It didnt come …Then when i turn 25 she commits suicide and leaves me with questions than answers,Bcoz she was a nurse & married her job required her working late,she felt better know the husband doesnt cheat but has some1 like me to entertain him
I was used so the husband doesn’t go far,& if he Rap£d me them he wouldn’t cheat & the aunt wont worry about a cheating husband… TWO PEOPLE WHO WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ME TURNED ME INTO A GLUE THAT HOLDS THEIR MARRIAGE TOGETHER…
BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO APPEAR HOLY HOLY TO THE PEOPLE AND HAVE A PERFECT MARRIAGE. I suffered ,left broke & empty because a husband cheating would mean the aunt had to quit her job but she wasn’t about that life…One day I am going to tell you about this healing journey I took after so many years… A man who took life,virginity,sanity… A man who made me hate my parents for dying and leaving us behind to be abused …
When I do tell my story ,I am not answering the “Why didnt you say earlier, When I do tellmy story make sure you have a pen, when I do stand up & tell my storyI do not want anyone to stand on my way to tell me it was my fault” I will not forgive and forget this man who took almost everything away from me… Finding out things now about my health,I might not be able to have children,I have scars that wont fade away,I have an ear problem fromhis stabbing …
I suffer from depression & had self esteem issues ,I had problems with how i looked. This whole thing affected my childhood,my education & it was abt to take away my future…My support structure has been amazing but somedays I do not feel I can do this…I now understand with pain I can never mask it,It willeat up your life,it will consume all of it.I am not strong & I wish i didnt have to go through this.No one deserves to be have their body violated …
With everything that has happened,I wish i will come out of this with a purpose. I have accepted that I cannot change the past & i am only responsible for my future… I am still crawling I know i will be strong to walk again…Its time i took my power back ,Its time i fall inlove with life again & allow every emotion to take its place,feel-it but not stay too long… I thought this was going to be short And for those that say I am bitter ,Ohh yess I am BITTER
I am going back to school, I applied and Ive been accepted,Im busy looking for financial assistance…Funny how he called me a demon’
